A LETTER TO THE SINGLE AND BROKEN HEARTED

 

Dearest one,

It’s another Valentine and love is in the air. If you asked me about two or three years ago what Valentine meant I would probably tell you it’s that day people decide to be stupid. I hated Valentine, it’s one of the days I would wake up miserable and angry because I knew I was going to see a lot of ladies smile and blush over their rose flowers and perfumes but here I was; single, miserable, broken-hearted and lonely.

Trust me when I tell you I know how it feels to wake up in the morning with nobody sending a love message of how you rock their world, the feeling of getting a phone call from your best friend that her boo just proposed. How do you describe that feeling of emptiness that just envelopes you when you retire to your bed with no gift, not even a bottle of Fanta.

I have been where you are, I hated Valentine until last year when something changed. You think I found a man? I’m sorry but your guess is so wrong. No man had found me up until that time but I had come to understand what love really meant.

April 2017 the Lord called me to step into a new realm and that was a big step, you have heard me say it several times. I ditched other relationships and focused on his love for me, the truth is, I can’t boast of my love for him, I can only boast of his love for me.

This journey of singleness has opened my eyes to who I really am, I have been able to come to a place of accepting my personality and embrace my uniqueness. That is why I can gladly love this person I am growing to be and at the same time be able to accept love.

I wish I could tell you it was an easy ride but honestly, there were days I wanted to break down and just hop into the arms of the next man that comes my way but today I can tell you that the wait is always worth it.

I know you are broken hearted, you are smiling and laughing with everyone but deep within you are broken, wounded and hurt. You can’t understand why someone you loved passionately would decide to hurt you. You don’t even know how to love anymore but I need you to see the brighter days ahead because soon you will rejoice.

I have seen God rewrite stories and turn things around but you need to be content with who you are, accept your person. The truth is, you are the one who decides your joy, and until you love yourself nobody will love you rightly.

My life feels like a fairy tale sometimes and I can tell you that your dream relationship is very possible. Trust the process and allow the father to write your story. I have seen write my story in a way that sounds like a fairy tale, I wake up every day as a grateful child, one the father loves exceptionally! My story is one that tells you that God is the best writer of love stories!

I know the next fear is but how do I love again when I find the right one. This fear was in my face every day, I thought I had forgotten how to love, I thought I was going to mess things up so I tried to be perfect but the one God has for you will help you, the one God has for you will not leave you hanging. The one God has for you will be an expression of the father’s love.

Today, love yourself, treat yourself right. Get yourself a gift and appreciate where you are right now and embrace the father’s love.

God is writing the perfect love story for you don’t steal the pen with impatience.

You are worth loving!

You are worth chasing!

Happy Valentine’s Day sweetie.

Your friend and sister,

Onome Omodara

Read also: Single and Satisfied

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Modupe says:

    Lovely article. ??

    1. Thanks dearie…. God bless your kind heart

  2. Keyblaze says:

    Relationships don’t always work. Sometimes, a breakup is more or less amicable but most often than not, it hurts so much that you feel your heart will burst.

    Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi talks about the ways to deal with heartbreak. Here are her ways to deal with it.

    1. You are not the first person in the world to experience heartache. Millions have suffered and have come out of it. Pain is something that adds to your understanding, knowledge of people and your own maturity. Though it is not a pleasant feeling, it is quite normal.

    2. Do things that help prevent memories of time spent together. Delete chats, emails, and photographs from handset, laptop and computer. If you cannot gather courage to do this, as least move them to a folder marked ‘hidden’ and saved in a remote corner not easily accessible. Do away with gifts and mementos so that you are not reminded of the person.

    3. Stop all communication with the person and also those who may want to inquire or talk about her or him. People can suspend all communication when they want to, but in vulnerable moments there is a sudden urge to reconnect and therefore blocking communication channels helps.

    4. Once you are in better control of yourself pat yourself on your back. But there will be times when you may need help. The urge, the confusion and the hope may make you take a wrong step and therefore in order to block this possibility, you can talk to a friend or a counselor about your feelings.`

    5. When you cannot help remaining sane and normal there is no harm in becoming sad. You may cry loudly if you feel like. Crying makes one feel better, because with stress and anger getting washed out you are also relieved of the toxins. You feel light, relaxed and refreshed.

    6. Please understand that the ability to guide, manage and control someone else does not lie in your hands. Put yourself in his or her place and imagine if you would like to be doing things that others want from you or you would like to be a person with free will and independence. Why should he or she behave the way you want? If you once loved someone, respect her or his decision.

    7. Move away from ‘blame game’. Do not find faults with the individual, other people or circumstances. Instead, start accepting the current situation. Once you are closer to reality it would be easier for you to distance yourself from the pain.

    8. Try to make new friends. Invest time in people who make you happier. The social support system in a collective society like ours is always readily available.

    9. Plan a trip or a vacation with family or friends. Create new and happy memories which will be your new treasure to fall back upon, when you feel lonely and sad. Click new pictures. Get a pet if you feel it might help.

    10. Try to help a person who is undergoing similar trauma. Be a guide or a counselor to him or her. With what you have learnt in life, you can surely share some valuable tips with the person who is suffering. Realize the change in you. See what is good in you and around you.

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