My dream in year 30 is to live the best life possible and become a New York Times bestselling author. Scratch that, I want to impact lives. I wrote a new book, and this is not just any other book, it’s a book about motherhood.
When I had my daughter, Reyna, I knew nothing about motherhood. I relied on Google and asked so many questions, I followed different pages on social media, and I did a lot of trial and error. One year and a few months later, there are so many things I wish I did not struggle with. I decided to write about that book I wish I read.
The book is titled “The Clueless Mom.” It’s a tell-it-all guide about motherhood. It talks about post-partum, taking care of a newborn, teething hacks, and starting solids, and my best part is that I shared 15 recipes you can try for your baby.
My husband wrote the foreword and shared his experience of becoming a dad. This book is for first-time moms and dads, mothers who are looking to start solids and anyone who enjoys reading. I shared my experience with raising my daughter.
This book is worth it. It is available for pre-order today at a 50% discount. The book will be available for download on the 30th of September.
Today is my birthday, but it’s not any other birthday, it’s my 30th. I still can’t believe I’m thirrtyyyy! Jesu saanu (Lord have mercy), lol. I decided to visit my blog because I have a lot to tell you. I graduated from university at 22 When we were asked where we saw ourselves in 5 years, I had two answers: to be on the Forbes list and to work for Tyler Perry as an actress and script writer.
Boy, I have come a long way. I really tried, but God had bigger plans. I never gave up on the Forbes list until last year, when I clocked 29. The truth is that I am not yet where I want to be, I still want to be a New York bestselling author, and I still want to fly my parents for an all-expense-paid trip to Paris.
I asked myself the other day, “Onome, do you think you are impacting lives?” I wish I could tell you I have an answer, but I don’t. I have spent the past two years building and spending time with my family. I am grateful for the gift of family and friends.
I am writing this to remind you that it’s okay to rewrite the vision. If you ask where I want to be in the next 5 years, it will be living a very comfortable life, raising my babies, and loving my husband. I still want to be a New York Times bestselling author, speak at TedWomen, and be a blessing to millions of people worldwide.
I am grateful that God redirected my life and gave me peace. I was not ready for fame, and I’m on that path where God is preparing me for a beautiful future. I was speaking with my mom, and she reminded me about trusting God with our future. I will always say this, and it is a fact: God is a responsible father!
I didn’t make the Forbes list, but I’m in the centre of God’s will, I am aligned! The best gift you can give me today is to write me an email at onomebadawrites@gmail.com. Let me know if I have ever made you happy, and let me know if I have ever impacted your life. I want to spend today reading your email and laughing so hard.
I dreaded 30s for so many reasons, but I am finally at peace, and honestly, I am excited about living my dreams and becoming the woman God has made me to be. 30s Onome is ready for you! The hashtag for today is #30&thriving
I have some news to share, but I will do that in another article.
Thank you for being a part of my life. Let’s live life to the fullest! Party and celebrate on my behalf because God is good.
Your friend and sister, New York bestselling author, Onome.
When my daughter turned six months, we had to go on a road trip for my brother’s wedding in Port-Harcourt. From the moment my brother said the wedding would hold in Port-Harcourt, I dreaded the journey because my baby was six months old.
I decided to do a lot of research on google but couldn’t find any article that fit my situation. They were all talking about travelling in your car. I am about to board “God is good motors”, so I need someone with that kind of experience. I am writing this article for that new mama who needs a relatable article.
After the trip to Port-Harcourt, I went on other long journeys with my baby, and it was all seamless. We have travelled to Kwara, Ogun, and Oyo. There was a time we travelled back to back in the space of one month, and my baby girl was fine. I want to share with you some tips that made each journey seamless.
TIPS TO HELP YOU HAVE A SMOOTH JOURNEY WITH YOUR BABY
Speak to your baby’s paediatrician:
Before going on any journey, especially if it’s a long journey, try to speak to your baby’s doctor and let them certify that your baby is fit to travel.
Talk to your baby:
I believe babies can hear, so I started speaking to my baby from the day she was born. I even have a journal where I share every experience, Journaling has helped me stay sane, and I also think it would be nice to present it to her when she grows older, back to the real gist. A friend advised me to let her know we are going on a long trip, it might be stressful, but I will take care of her.
While dressing her up every morning, I would tell her, “Hi mama, in 3 weeks, we will visit Port Harcourt for your uncle’s wedding. The journey is about 8 hours but don’t worry me, your daddy, uncles, aunties and your grandparents will take good care of you. It felt like I was passing a message to her subconscious, it might sound silly, but it works. It’s not just about travelling alone. When you are not comfortable with anything, speak to your baby. When my baby was not eating well, I would speak to her about it. Talk to your baby!
Pack appropriately:
It is also important that you pack everything your child needs. I will advise you don’t pack in a hurry. In my case, I pack at least two days before we travel so that I don’t forget anything. Essentials you need include Diapers, sleepsuits, bodysuits, wipes, formula, bottles, cereals, water and other necessities.
Go with comfortable transportation:
This was one mistake I made when we were travelling to Port Harcourt. We wanted to go with GUO, but unfortunately, we couldn’t book because they were fully booked, so we had to go with “God is good”, and the experience was terrible. The bus was uncomfortable, and we didn’t get to PH until late at night, but returning was seamless. We followed Libra, and the bus was so comfortable. My baby even watched cartoons, lol. She was not cranky at all. I would advise you to go with a comfortable transport company (You can check for reviews before you decide) but if you can please go by air for long distances.
Feed your baby:
This is very important. My baby was starting solids, so breastfeeding was still her major food. I made sure she was breastfed before we left for the park, and she slept till we got to the park. When we boarded, I breastfed too. If you have those ice packs, they will come in very handy. Pump some breastmilk and keep it. I didn’t have those, so I didn’t pump, but I got her some cereal which I gave her when we got to our second stop.
A well-rested baby is a happy baby:
Let your baby rest. For our first trip to Port Harcourt, we had to wake up early to meet the bus, which made my baby cranky. Until she slept, she was fussy. I have also noticed this trend each time we travelled, and she had to wake up early. Even if you have to wake up early, rock your baby so she can sleep; that helps her stay rested, and a well-rested baby is a happy baby.
Dress them for the weather:
For our trip to Port Harcourt, it was really cold, and the bus had AC, so it was so chilly. I wore a sleepsuit for her but changed her into more comfortable wear as the journey progressed. Do your findings about the weather and dress your baby accordingly.
Carry your baby’s toys:
The journey is so long, and you don’t want your baby bored. In the same way, you start pressing your phone once the journey is long, your baby is going to be bored too, so get them their toys, and if your babies have a tab, then you can go along with it and let your babies have fun too.
CONCLUSION
Train ride with my baby
Travelling with your baby is not as easy as it sounds, but it is possible. I have enjoyed every trip with my baby and look forward to more. The secret is to stay calm and be patient; your baby can sense it when you are stressed and frustrated. If your partner is with you, let them relieve you of the stress so you can rest. Don’t forget to enjoy every phase because they grow so fast.
There was a time in my life when my dream was to marry a committed Baptist church member. I was born and raised in a Baptist church, and as far as I was concerned, my church was the best. I wanted my children to experience being rooted and raised in the Baptist church because I believed it was the only place the word of God was preached lol (blame it on my not going out).
If you have read my book Identity crisis, I mentioned that the Baptist church was the foundation of my church; all the lessons I learnt in my sunbeam, girls auxiliary and Lydia auxiliary is all part of my faith. The interesting part was that I was so naïve to believe that as long as he is Baptist, he is automatically a good man.
I remember trying so hard to find a Baptist man, I wanted a royal wedding by force (in the Baptist church, when a member of the Lydia auxiliary marries a member of the Royal ambassador, they have a royal wedding, which is always ceremonial with parades and uniform) but I have come to realize over time that a good marriage goes beyond that.
I once dated this guy who was a Baptist member; I had no business dating that guy because we had no chemistry and nothing in common. The only common thing we had was that we were dedicated baptist members and our folks were pastors. He liked me, but I felt nothing for him. I told myself I would grow to like him because marrying him meant our kids would experience what I experienced. Looking back, I was so selfish and silly. I wasn’t looking forward to his call and was eager to return home each time we saw each other. I waited for the perfect excuse to break up, but he was just so sweet. He did everything right, lol.
I can’t even remember how I broke up, but I had to come up with a lie. I knew I hurt him and felt terrible, but I knew if I married him, I would remain miserable for the rest of my life, and he would not forgive me.
When I decided to hand over my relationship to the lord, one of the idols he removed from my heart was marrying a Baptist man or nobody. The Holy Spirit asked me, “would you rather marry a man after my heart or make your decision?”. God worked on me until I reached the point of surrender and absolute trust that He has my best interest at heart.
At the end of the day, I did not marry a Baptist man, but I married the best man for me. I have seen Baptist marriages crash, and I have also seen those that flourished. My point is that a good marriage goes beyond the denomination.
RIP OFF THAT LIST
I don’t know what your idol is. Yours might be a particular tribe, job or position. It goes for both genders. I have met men with ridiculous tastes, and I laugh because we often demand what we don’t have.
It’s time to surrender and trust the father. Rip off that list and start afresh. God knows the end from the beginning. Let God order your steps. Your assignment and calling are bigger than you, and whoever you are in a relationship with must understand that you are called to fulfil a purpose, and your union itself is to serve a purpose.
Marriage is beyond that list you are holding. Trust the father and watch him take care of you.
After I wrote my third book, “there was a girl”, I knew
there was more, but I was not ready. I was not ready to be vulnerable. I was
not ready to share my deepest secrets with strangers. I started writing
Identity crisis in 2020, but I closed it because I was scared.
When Papa spoke to me about sharing my story, I argued and
gave him all the reasons I should not write this book. Like the loving father
that he is, he let me be, but the problem was that I was not feeling satisfied.
I felt like I had lost a sense of purpose and was doing things on my own.
I could be a very stubborn girl, but Papa has been teaching
me, and gradually I am learning to die to self. I picked up my pen and
continued this book. I finished and shared it with my husband. I was looking for
every excuse not to publish this story. He said to me, “If God asks you to do
this, you need to, and I will support you.”
I had someone in mind for the foreword, but the Lord told me
it had to be my mom. Boy, I was scared because I didn’t know how she would
receive it. She knows the story, and she helped me walk through forgiveness but
writing it in a book, I knew she would never approve, but all God wanted me to
do was obey.
I ignored Papa and reached out to this person I had in mind;
she said she would be honoured to write the foreword. I was expecting her
article when she sent me a mail to send my number that she would love to call
me; she called as promised and gave me the shocking news. She said she was
struggling to write a foreword. She said she was not getting the urge to go
ahead. She apologized, and right there, I knew God had set me up.
After weeks of struggling, I sent the manuscript to my mom.
She called back and asked me why I was writing this book. She said she would
pray about it and get back. Some days later, she sent the foreword, prayed with
me, and encouraged me. That was the biggest sign I needed to get this vision
running.
Today, the vision is alive. Identity crisis is ready! This
book is beyond me, so I need you to help me read it, review and share it with
others. It is my story of abuse and addiction. It is a tale of pain and hope,
but I know it carries the answer to the questions in the heart of many people.
It is available in hard and soft copies. The Soft copy goes for 1,200, click here to get your copy, and the hard copy goes for N2,500. You can get your copy here. If you are outside Nigeria, not to worry, it is available on Amazon. Identity crisis is not just my story, it is a vision, and with your help, we can keep this vision alive.
If you have any questions or reviews, you can email me at
Nakedwithonome@gmail.com.
