Onomewrites

Impacting Nations

LETTER TO MY 23 YEAR OLD SELF

 

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Songs of Solomon 8:4 (NLT).

 

I celebrated my birthday last week and it took me down memory lane, I realized I made some mistakes and I have no regrets but it is expedient that the world understands that there is always a better way and some mistakes are better avoided.

 

I hope this letter encourages that single person who is tired of waiting and it helps that person who keeps trying to find love on his own terms, I’m not asking you to give up on love I’m only asking to try the best method! Before you give up read this:

 

My Dearest Onome,

Baby girl, I can see that you are trying. You have jumped from one boyfriend to another, moved from one situationship to another relationship searching for what is not lost. You wonder if God is with you. He set you up with some to help them, he used you for them but yet none is the answer. You have wondered where he is. Not one of these men is qualified to help you fulfill the assignment. He is not the one.

All your friends are in serious relationships they are flaunting their relationships on social media, you prayed for them and they are happy but you ask where your own Isaac is? You met a new guy some months ago he is handsome and classy what if he is the one? no my dear he is not the one.

You have known this one for a long while he has been on and off but you think this time around he is here to stay you gladly tell your friends about him, you are waiting for the day he will ask you out but he is yet to say anything. He keeps telling you he loves you but he is not proving it, it became worse when he forgot your birthday but you forgave him after all you love him but on his birthday you went all out flaunting him on social media stop wasting your time my darling he is not the one.

Then you met another you know he is not the one but you can’t afford to be single you think singleness is a life of loneliness but what you don’t understand is that it is a life of surrender. Every time the thought of him leaving you comes to your head you get panic attacks, you prayed that God should make him the one but you know you are not of the same passion. I know he loves God but He is not assigned to you I know it hurts but he is not the one.

Stop trying to do it without God, stop forcing the father into relationships he never ordained. Little did you know that all the father needs from you is total trust. Give him the pen of your love life and let Him write the best story with it.

Little did you know that all the efforts you are putting in getting people to see you or men to like you, God wants you to invest in Him. He wants you to seek him with the whole of your heart and he in turn will bless you with the desires of your heart.

Little did you know that years from now you will meet your man. This man will love you passionately, he will gladly show you off, he will be God’s gift to you. Do you know that he will love you with all his might and apologize deeply when he is wrong? Do you know this man will lead you back to the father? He will pray for you and with you. Do you know that He will love you like Christ loves the church? Do you know he will not be shy to tell everyone you are his? Do you know he will treat you like a queen that you are? Do you know together you will fulfill purpose and serve the father forever?

Do you know that it’s possible to have undeniable peace in a relationship?  Do you know that the validation you think you can get from another man can ONLY come from God?

Baby girl, you have tried. Now rest. You are smart and beautiful, you don’t need any man’s validation, you are a complete being. you deserve to be loved and valued, you deserve to be happy.  stop doing it your own way. rest in the father’s love. Love who you are and the woman you are becoming. Be patient love will find you at the right time.

Enjoy singleness and be deeply rooted in the father. This man is worth waiting for so while you wait be prepared.

Your big sister,

Onomewrites.

 

CONCLUSION

I know waiting is tough if you ask me I have a lot of stories to tell but I’m a testimony that nothing is wrong with being satisfied in your singleness. Nothing is wrong with you chasing the father. Stop trying to seek validation from men, you are complete in Christ. Stop chasing love let your heart find rest in the father’s love! The wait is always worth it because the right one will make you forget all the pains.

I love you!

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome

 

PATIENCE WHILE WAITING

 

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time” (Ecclesiastes 3: 11)

Ciara was a beautiful and hardworking lady, in her single days she was that kind of lady who will make heads turn, beauty was not the only the thing that made her glow neither was it all about her intellect she had a good character and this was enough to make you to take her to Mama.

Her parents got divorced when she was twelve she had to stay with her dad while her younger brother who was just nine then had to stay with her mom. Life was hell with her step mom, she was constantly maltreated and she spent a lot of nights wishing life was better. She was allowed to go and see her mom once in a year and each time she went to see her mom she did not want to come back home but there was nothing her mom could do.

She secretly hated the idea of marriage but has she grew older her perspectives changed and she vowed never to miss it in Marriage. She was very intelligent she graduated with a second class upper and she got a very good paying job after the compulsory one year youth service.

She was committed to the lord and his work, she met her Husband Charles in church they were friends for six months before he asked her out and she took her time to get all the confirmation she needed before she said yes to him. Ciara had had her heart broken several times before she decided to give the lord her love life and He in turn blessed her with Charles.

Charles had liked Ciara the very first day he met her in the workers’ meeting after service, he sat beside her but there was something unusual about her and he knew he had to be her friend. After the meeting they exchanged contacts and they became friends, three months along he knew she was the one but he wanted to be sure by the sixth month of their friendship he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this amazing woman.

One year later, they tied in the knot in Ciara’s local church, it was a very beautiful event and it was so obvious that Ciara who was the rejected stone has now become the cornerstone and she was grateful that the lord had kept her, she was glad her mum, dad and stepmom were all alive to be a part of her big day.

She was 27 and her husband was 29 when they got married, she got married as a virgin but the problem came when she couldn’t conceive, she became worried but her husband was so supportive and he kept telling her that the Lord was faithful and just.

She was later diagnosed with submucosal fibroid a type of fibroid which is found on the inner lining of the uterus and research has shown that is not so common but when Ciara was diagnosed with fibroids she almost ran mad, she felt so terrible but her husband stood by her, she had to undergo a surgery but even after the surgery nothing happened.

Her mother-in-law made life difficult for her and every day she was reminded of her childlessness, she knew the lord told her she would be a mother of nations but it felt like those promises would never come true.

Waiting became tough but she had to embrace patience and trust the process, five years after she delivered a set of twins, a boy and a girl and indeed her heart was full and filled with gratitude. The lord used her to start a ministry for women who were waiting and she shared her story with a lot of women and that story encouraged a lot of people in their wait.

CONCLUSION

Waiting is not as easy as it sounds, I’ve had times I had to wait and I can tell you that it’s not so much fun. While waiting you really need to be patient but patience is a bit tough especially in this microwave generation where we want things done at the snap of our fingers but there is a process.

 

I wondered how Abraham and Sarah waited that long, the bible contains stories of men and women who had to wait for their promises to come to manifestation. If you ask any woman who is expecting a child she will tell you she can’t wait for the nine months to be over, she endures every form of pain just so she can have her child and when that child comes the pain is forgotten that’s what waiting feels like. Warren buffet said “You can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant” some things just take time and you need to build the capacity to be patient while waiting.

HOW TO BUILD YOUR PATIENCE

  1. Meditate and confess God’s promises: You can never underestimate the place of confession, I just got to understand the efficiency of this tool and I can tell you it really works. You become what you confess, what has the lord said to you? What are His promises over your life? Keep confessing it.
  2. Pray again and again: when God gives you a word, it is your duty to birth it in the place of prayer, pray until you get the instructions, pray until you find peace and even after the promises get manifested don’t stop praying. Don’t become too busy.
  3. Build your faith: God never asks us to have a big faith, faith is not about the size it’s about the strength. Keep building your faith and find the strength to keep moving in difficult times.

Waiting is never easy but the testimonies are always worth sharing at the end of the day you will be glad the lord took you the process. Trust the process, trust the father. Your story will encourage others, you are stronger just be patient!

You are loved

Yours,

Omodara Onome

 

SCARED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4: 18a)

Growing up with a low self-esteem played a major role in my belief about love. I use to think I was not lovable and when people who were not related to me were being nice, it always felt like they would want something in return and in turn I wasn’t just keen about love.

Love had always been around me but my negligence and self-esteem just never allowed me to see it, I have a wonderful family who adored me, even when I would hear my mom pray for me in the middle of the night I still didn’t believe it was love, I felt it was a norm for parents to pray for their kids but little did I know that was the greatest expression of love.

This part of me affected my belief system and when I started thinking about relationships, my expectations were so little and you know what they say about your thoughts it definitely becomes your reality, even when it was clear that love was chasing me I was still scared, scared I was going to be hurt, I just felt I don’t deserve to be loved.

I’ve met people who are just like me, when the thought of someone loving you gets into your mind you become scared maybe because of your past or your insecurities, whatever your story is don’t feel bad, it is okay to have those feelings, I totally understand but you can’t be in that phase forever you need to come out of your shell because if you don’t get healed, your partner will only keep trying but deep within you, you will still feel he/she wants to use you.

It took me years to get over this feeling, it took deliberate actions. I wish I could tell you that I did it myself, I wish I could say it was because I read books or because I was smart, the truth is it took God’s help and strength to get me here, it took that same love I was scared of to heal me.

I know you want to ask me so how do I get over this feeling, how do I let go of this fear? I know how you feel, I know it sucks sometimes, I know that feeling when you are just paranoid about somebody being nice to you, you just can’t wait to find out what they want from you but in most cases the person is just being nice and all.

I’ll explain to you some practicable steps you can take to help you come out of this state of mind because if you remain there I’m afraid you can’t experience love even when the right person comes your way you will frustrate him/ her.

BE DETERMINED:
There is nothing that can happen if you are not determined. Sometimes last year, I realized I was not happy, I was tired of being used, I just desired a change and that was the beginning of my breakthrough. You need to get to that point where you are tired, your determination is the first step to your breakthrough.

BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FATHER:
This is the best decision you can ever make, I’m telling you this from my own personal experience. The fact that God loves you is enough to keep you going and if you rely on that simple truth it is more than enough. If nobody loves you, God loves you and that should encourage you to want to know Him more. The psalmist says “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you visit him” (psalms 8:3), you are that special and God desires fellowship. When you fellowship with God in prayer, God begins to rub on you and before you know it you start seeing things the way God sees them and He then instructs you on how to go.

FEED ON THE WORD:
It’s interesting how the word of God renews our mind, there was one evening I was fellowshipping and He opened my eyes to 2 Timothy 1: 7, I have heard that scripture several times but what the Holy Spirit taught me that day was deeper than what I’ve heard. When you study the word regularly the Holy Spirit begins to mess with your mind and He aligns it to see things the way you should see them. You can’t be in the word and be scared. Find time to study the word of God because revelation is the base line for revolution, the force of victory is from the inside.

DO IT AFRAID:
This is the toughest part, when you are sensitive to the Spirit and God brings the right person your way, you will be confronted with that same fear but you need to step out in faith and allow yourself to be loved and in turn love the person. Do it afraid!

CONCLUSION
You deserve to be loved, I know you’ve been hurt and I know you are scared but you need to understand that you deserve to be happy, if like me you are doing so much for people but you don’t even know how to receive please you deserve to be spoilt too. I didn’t understand how bad I was at receiving love until it came knocking at my door and everyday I’m learning with the help and strength of the father.

Don’t be scared to love, don’t be scared to be loved too because perfect love casts out fear.
I love you!

Yours,
Omodara Onome.

DEAR YOUNG WRITER

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you” (Maya Angelou)

Writing like every other form of art requires creativity, passion and dedication but I think most times we are the ones who are underrated, we are the ones who are less paid and a lot of times if feels that nobody can hear our cry.

I decided to write this article for that young writer who is getting tired and who thinks writing is a waste of time, I hope my story challenges and inspires you to go back and pick your pen.

I WANT TO WRITE
I started writing when I was nine years old, something happened to me that I couldn’t bear to tell anyone, my self-esteem was being crushed and I needed help but just at the right time I found writing. I decided to write how I was feeling in a book and at that instant there was a connection between a book, a pen and my heart you can call it love at first sight.

As I wrote my experiences more, I knew I wanted to world to hear my story, after I gained my self-esteem I wanted to help people who like me was going through some challenges and there was only method I knew how I to use and that was writing.

It was later in my life I got to understand that God wanted me to write, I had a message to share and writing was definitely my purpose. I picked up writing as a profession in 2015 and it is still my best decision till date.
I studied computer science in school and everyone felt I was going to be a programmer but somehow I couldn’t cope, coding felt like jargons to me (apology to all programmers, I respect you guys a lot!) but I knew I wasn’t going to be a computer scientist but writing was a profession I was sacred to venture into. I told my parents and like every normal parent they got scared for me, it felt like their baby girl was confused but my mind was made up about writing.

I started writing, started my own blog, I was enjoying it but there was just one problem I was broke and the bloggers who gave me side jobs were offering me peanuts, I can tell you it was frustrating. The truth is money fuels your passion but here was the thing I was committed to it and I knew someday I will make millions from writing.

I’m still yet to make the millions so don’t think of sending me your account number at least not yet but what I make now as a writer is a lot more than I started with and I’m so confident that writing will take me far, I know it could be tough being a writer, a lot of people told me to get a real life, somebody once told me to quit writing because people don’t read anymore but it was my dream and I refused to allow people take it from me.

Writing for me is my purpose, it is my voice, it is my world and just like every other art it is beautiful and it is a profession you can make millions from all you need is diligence and consistency.

SO YOU WANT TO WRITE
I want to share with you some tips on how to be a good writer and make some cool cash while at it.

Why do you want to write: You need to ask yourself this question over and over? Some days would be tough, your articles would be rejected, people would ask you questions but what keeps you going is the why. Do you want to write because you want to help people or you want to make people happy or you have a story to share? Whatever your reason (s) is make sure it is enough to keep you going.

Don’t let money be your motivation: if money is your motivation you won’t go far as a writer because if you are not making enough money you will be frustrated. I know we all need money, people’s smiles and thumb ups will not pay the bills but it would bring satisfaction and in a lot of cases great referrals. You can pick up another job and making writing a side hustle but here is the deal, don’t stop writing, if you are born to write I can assure you that you won’t find the fulfillment until you write.

Target audience: This is very important. The ones you want to read your books, the ones you are really writing for, you need to consider them. Your message is not for everyone and that is the bitter truth so knowing your target audience is very important. If you are writing for teenagers you need to understand what style of writing will catch their attention, if you are writing for kids you need to know what will get them glued to your writing. Know your audience!

Read books: there is only one way to learn and that is by studying the works of those who have gone ahead. I’m a crazy reader and if there is one place I’m always scared to visit, it is a bookshop because my appetite for books never finishes. I never loved books but because I wanted to write I had to train my mind to love books. Pick up books of authors you admire and even the ones you don’t admire just read. There was a time I fell in love with Maya Angelou I had to go find her poems, I studied and I got a new approach to writing poems. Read like your life depends on it but don’t forget to create your own style.

Be versatile: As a writer, don’t be a one way traffic. It is expedient you pick a genre (style) you want to work with. There are six genres in writing and that is expository, descriptive, letters and journals, narrative, persuasive and poetry. Pick a genre but learn about styles too because you will always need them. It is very expedient you have a style so that your audience know what to expect from you but that does not mean you can’t try others.

Sell yourself: the secret to this is to keep learning and don’t be scared to sell yourself as a writer, don’t let people underrate you. Write your books, package them and sell. Don’t be deceived people still read and you can make millions from writing. I can recommend Okada books, Mixsie audio books and Kobo they are great platforms that can help you sell your books and these guys will give you your money, they are so transparent. With a great writing and amazing marketing your book will definitely sell.

Surround yourself with other writers: join a community of writers, reach out to other writers and ask for help. This has kept me going a lot of times, I try to reach out to other writers when I’m so down and their words keeps me going, show them your works let them criticize your writings because that is a sure way to be a better writer. If you need some you can reach out to me and I’ll gladly recommend some.

WRITER’S BLOCK
This is the nightmare of every writer, when you get stuck on that page. I have about three books I stopped halfway because I had a serious writer’s block but I’m sure visiting them soon. There are ways to handle this. Just stop, don’t force words even if you have a deadline you need to relax and take a stroll or do something fun. Just give your brain and mind some rest. I love taking strolls or listening to music but once in a while I watch movies. Find out what works out for you and come back to your writing by the time you are back you are ready to fire on!

CONCLUSION

I’ve faced a lot as a young writer, there are days I’ve felt like quitting countless number of times but the future excites me so I keep going plus the grace of God has been sufficient for me. I take a long break once in a while to keep myself in check but I never stop writing and that’s the secret just write even when it does not sense just write, nobody became an expert in one night we all kept practicing till we became better. Just write even when you don’t feel like it write about how you feel and before you know it you are an expert in this field.
Finally, writing is a way of escape, it is your passport to a world you created so keep building. You have a message write it, let the world hear your story and you can be sure you are blessing lives while doing it.

Each time I write and I get feedbacks it gives me a big smile and if it is for that one person I’m helping with my words then I won’t stop writing.

Don’t be scared to learn too, join classes for writers, it might not be free but you will get value for your money. Spend so that you can earn in the future.

Dear writer, keep writing. Don’t hang your pen! The world needs you, people are counting on your message and your message is the hope somebody needs to move forward.

Yours,
Omodara Onome

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET GO

I was in my room trying to see what’s happening in the internet world then my favourite network provider decides to mess things up for me with a very slow network, it’s not a new scenario it happens most of the time with them but this particular evening just drove me nuts and I had to ask myself “why am I still using this network?” then I had to do a rethinking and I discovered why.

I hope you are not in a hurry because I am about to tell you my love story with my favourite network provider. Hop on and ride with me, there are some basic lessons we could learn from this story

I started using the network in 2015 when I got my first writing gig, my boss shared data with me, since it was free I became so used to it, somewhere along the line I bought a new phone purchased from their office and the phone came with a one year data bundle so for a year I didn’t spend a dime subscribing. After a year I was back to being normal and I started subscribing with my own money, it was cheaper so it was fun but here was the thing even though it was cheaper the network was terrible there were days I had to struggle to get the network to do meaningful things online. I had asked myself “why am I still in this relationship with this network” the reason is simple, it is cheaper and beyond that I’m just so used to it that I feel another network will be strange.

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Just like my story with this network, there are lot of people in abusive relationship but they are so scared to leave the relationship maybe because they are already used to the abuse or in other cases they have some peanuts they are getting from the relationship.

I don’t care about the amount of money he gives you, nothing can replace the place of happiness, stop wasting your energy on relationships that can never grow. Many of us see the signs but we just ignore thinking we can make it work, you are not married and you are already enduring a relationship. Stop using all your energy on a relationship that can never grow, I know you are in love but love is not the only factor that makes a marriage work.
You know within you that you should not be in that relationship but you will rather force yourself to make it work and that is the only reason you are still hurt, stop spending your youthful days chasing meaningless relationships.

You know what they say about the fact that there are two sets of people that are so difficult to talk to and that is a man who has money and a woman who is in love, don’t make this statement a fact. The fact that you are in love should not mean the loss of your senses. Don’t make decisions you will spend the rest of your life regretting.
You don’t have to stay with her out of pity, you don’t even love her but you feel that without you she can’t move on, who told you that? She will definitely find a man that will love her but that is if you release her. How do you expect her to find a man when you keep hovering around her like a hen protecting her chick from danger but in this case you are not protecting her, you can’t be with her so why hold on to her for so long.
Abusive relationships is actually a cage, each time you are hurt, your partner apologizes and the cycle continues again but I write this to give you a reminder that enough is enough, I know you are tired and you have been asking for a sign, let this be a sign. I know you are in love but sometimes love means letting go. Marriage is the appropriate time to love blindly but courtship is the time to love intelligently. Ask those who are going through troubles in their marriage they will tell you it’s never an easy ride and many of them wish they had not made the decision of marrying who they married. Avoid that terrible decision when you can, I know you are in love but your happiness is also important and the interesting part is that love will always find you.

PURPOSES THAT DO NOT ALLIGN

I have met people who are enduring relationships not because of an abuse but because their visions are not in any way related. One of the reasons you are coming together is to fulfil purpose, just because he is cute or she is pretty has not made them your partner. Life will be so boring if your partner does not believe in your vision that is the point of agreement.
I once had a friend I liked so much, a part of me really wished he would ask me out but it was later I got to discover that we had no agreement. I made up my mind about him one evening when we got talking and I asked him about his plans for the future and I realized there was no way I could fit into any of those dreams even if I had tried to I will lose my own purpose and uniqueness in the process.

Partnership is one of the major goals of marriage, you and your partner should be going to the same path, and you should have a common goal. If you lose your originality trying to please your partner you won’t like the result, you will become a frustrated and boring person. Find someone who is going in the same direction with you.

Don’t force yourself to go on a journey God never sent you, you will regret it. Fulfilling purpose is expedient to your happiness, don’t be blind about your life. I know you love him and she loves you but don’t drag somebody else into an assignment they are not called to do. Sometimes it’s okay to let go, marriage is too far to jump into it.

CONCLUSION

I’ve learnt a major lesson in life that letting go could be tough but it births freedom and inner peace, don’t let love be the only reason you are dating anyone. Let your purposes align, don’t endure an abusive relationship, don’t spend the rest of your life regretting. Don’t kill yourself over a toxic relationship, God didn’t create you to suffer and endure life because of somebody who does not value you. I know it’s hard but take it from a friend who understands that sometimes you just have to let go so that you can walk into the life God has assigned you to live.

Cheers to a beautiful future.

Yours,
Omodara Onome

Onomewrites@gmail.com