Impacting Nations


“Morning shows the day but it doesn’t reveal the night” –Leke Alder

Today, I will be sharing with you about the life lessons I got from the physiological thriller titled “Acrimony” written and produced by the phenomenal and outstanding producer and entertainer Tyler Perry.

The movie was centered on a young lady called Melinda who loved her man so much, his name Robert. She believed in his dreams even when it sounded so foolish to everyone around her especially her sisters. She gave her all to the man and labored with him but somewhere in between she assumed he messed up because of what she heard from her sisters and judging from what he had done in the past she believed her sisters that he was cheating, she decided to divorce him on the account of infidelity but after the divorce the guy’s dreams came to a big reality. He appreciated her labours by giving her some money and got her the house she inherited from her mother that was mortgaged during the course of their marriage’s financial distress. Robert moved on too, he fell in love with the woman who stood by him when Melinda left but the only problem was this, he gave to this woman all he promised Melinda, all the dreams they shared another woman inherited it and that in turn angered and embittered Melinda so much that she ended up almost killing Robert and she lost her life while trying to kill Robert and his new wife.

I’ve heard people ask questions about who should be blamed is it Melinda or Robert or her sisters? I’m not writing this article to give you a detailed review of the movie, please permit me to say they all played a part and each of them had their own faults.
I wrote this article to share with you the life lessons I got from watching this movie, I’m not much of a movie freak but when I watch one it better be worth my time, don’t mind me I could be weird sometimes, I still ask myself what I do for fun? Let’s talk about me another day but today let’s discuss the lessons I got from watching Acrimony.

1.Never marry in the name of love alone: Don’t get me wrong, love is very important but beyond love you need to ask some serious questions. Can you deal with his character? Is he faithful? How does she react when she is angry? Is she sincere? Do you fight regularly? Does the fight turn nasty and physical including breaking of stuff? Is it all about her, or about your future together? Is it all about the wedding or about marriage? Does she have time for you? Is she still shopping, on the lookout? Can you trust her? Is he caring? Is he hardworking? Is it all about him? Etc. the signs are always there but we choose to ignore them all in the love. Melinda caught Robert cheating while they were still dating and in turn she got so mad and she decided to destroy his house with her car but she lost her womb in the process so she can never have a child. Robert came back to apologize and they moved on, the only thing Robert could give her was his dreams, there was nothing else, she had been sponsoring the relationship right before they got married and the fact that her family did not support their union should cut her a slack but they were both in love and nothing else mattered. Courtship is the best time to date intelligently while marriage is the time to love blindly, while you are courting let your brain be active. The logical reason they both had for marriage was love and unfortunately, love is not enough. Love is important but it is not the only reason.

2.Responsibility is very important: One major duty of a man is responsibilities, a woman was designed to be a helper. When a woman becomes the only person handling the responsibilities of the home then the role has been switched, I know life happens sometimes and probably the man lost his job or money is not forthcoming but what matters is the fact that he has a heart that wants to take responsibilities. Robert had a dream but it was not bringing in money he could get a job to support his wife while he still pursued his dreams but instead he left all the responsibilities for his wife and she had to work two different jobs, that is enough to frustrate any woman. It is okay to have a vision but vision can’t fill the stomach, you need to earn as you pursue your vision.

3. You can’t rule out your family: Your family is very important and it’s one unit you shouldn’t be quick to throw away because you met someone you love. Whoever you are dating should not separate you from your family, he/she shouldn’t be comfortable about marrying you without your family’s approval. The truth is if they say No initially, there are better ways to make them understand. Getting married without the family’s approval was a mistake Melinda and Robert made, Melinda’s sisters never approved Robert but they got married anyway and Melinda had to work so hard to prove to her siblings that she did not make a mistake. You can’t erase the place of family.

4. Beware of manipulative people: some people are so manipulative, they will manipulate you for money in the name of love, they are always demanding and their needs will never come to an end. Be discerning, marrying a manipulative person is dangerous. Robert was manipulative, he had his way around Mel at the end of the day she spent all the money her mother left for her after she died on Robert and even mortgaged her mother’s house, and he manipulated her into doing all that.

5. Patience is a virtue: Success requires a dogged pursuit, you can’t afford to give up easily. You just have to keep trying and patience is a virtue that helps in making marriage work, after all, love is patient. Melinda had labored so hard to build a man’s dreams but impatience cost her a life of affluence. Robert asked her to be patient before filing a divorce but she felt she can’t deal with it anymore and what she did not know was that her man was close to his breakthrough. Patience is a virtue you need to possess to build a good home and even the life of your dreams. Do not make hasty decisions, time is always a revealer of things.

6. It is your marriage: People would always have contrary opinions and you need to stand by your choice. You can’t blame anyone for the consequences of your marriage choice. You need to take responsibility for the partner you choose. It is your marriage and what happens in your home should stay in your home.

7. Tame the beast called ‘anger’: Anger is a deadly emotion and if you can’t control it, it is deadly! Don’t make a decision when you are angry, calm down first. Melinda allowed her emotions have a upper hand in ruining her marriage, when her sisters came to tell her that Robert was cheating that was not the best time to fight him and file a divorce, if only Mel had listened to him and was patient things would have ended differently. She lost her life to anger. Anger does nothing but serious damage.
If you have not seen Acrimony, please do and read this article again.

If there was a lesson you learnt in the movie and I have not shared it, please do well to tell me in the comments session, you never know who you are helping.

Thanks fam!
I’ll talk to you soon.

Omodara Onome


Being single was the last thing I envisioned about myself, I literally lived for people so why can’t love locate me? I wasn’t planning to marry at 23 or 24 but I just never wanted to be single, as far as I was concerned it was a bizarre.

In 2017, I knew and felt God was calling me to go deeper and seek Him so I took an intentional step, I decided to be the father’s daughter but nobody told me being the Father’s daughter was a life of total commitment and selflessness so when I knew God wanted me to be single I wasn’t ready to take on that walk, it was scary, I felt it was going to be a life of loneliness and depression so for days I struggled and argued with the father but at a point I was tired of arguing plus I was tired of being with the wrong ones so I decided to date God.

I began the journey of singlehood in April 2017 and I can tell you that it became the best decision I ever made in my life, I became so happy and free but not just that my life took a different turn. Five months later, I had the nudging to write a book about singleness and the testimonies that abounded from that book beats my imagination, I knew it had to be God.
Singleness is a phase I feel everyone should go through, we are not perfect, we all have flaws but there is a point where we have to decide to be a better person and this is one major thing singleness helps you achieve.

No soldier prepares for battles on the battlefield, they prepare years before they go to the battlefield. Marriage is a field of responsibilities and if you are not prepared you will mess things up and then we make God a liar but in reality, God would never do for man what man can do for himself.

The call to singleness is a call to a closer walk with the father, a lot of us spend our single days chasing relationships and fantasies and at the end of the day we miss the whole point of being single.

“Delight thyself also in the lord; trust also in him; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psalms 37: 4)

As far as I was concerned, God had no business with my love life, I gave Him my life but I restricted him from entering my love door, I gave him the key to other rooms but my love life, No. I felt God was an old man who had no idea about romance, I thought he was going to give me rules that will bore me but my major fear was God giving me a very ugly and boring dude because I’ve heard people talk about how God chose spouses for them and such stories scares me a lot but in reality, I had no idea about how much God loved me and all He needed was trust from me.
Like me, a lot of us are so scared of trusting God because we feel He doesn’t know what we want but remember that He is your father and He loves you so much and that love should give you reasons to trust Him. Delight yourself in the lord and He will surely grant your heart desires, all you need to do is give him the pen and allow God write the best love story for you.


The single who is satisfied is one who is contended in who he is, she is one who is exploring new opportunities and more importantly he is one who is in love with the father. Since I gave God the pen and he led me to walk in singleness, it has been a very interesting ride. I have seen God drill and train me to become a better person, He has opened my eyes to see the areas I need to work on, he is really training me to be the best version of the woman I should be for my future husband and in Jesus I have found that satisfaction.

Stop whining and complaining, stop wasting your emotions on the wrong ones and let the father lead you, he has your best interest at heart. Stop struggling with Him, give God the pen and let Him write your story because when God aligns you with your partner it is a forever love story. Let him lead you and you will never regret it.

Cheers to your victory!

Omodara Onome


One of the major questions I got after writing single without wrinkle was “how do I deal with depression as a single?” but I wanted more practical examples and somehow I came across this amazing lady I will be interviewing today, she was so full of life attending weddings of her younger ones and she was single, I asked myself “who is this lady? I need to know her secret”  moving closer to her I knew it was beyond ordinary and that is why today I am interviewing her so that she can share her story, the pains, the joy and even the rewards of patience. Getting her for this interview was a bit tough because of her schedule and all but she was so humble and kind to squeeze out time and I’m super grateful for that.

Onomewrites: Good ma’am, tell us something about you

Atinuke: My name is Atinuke Salako, I come from a family of six, I am the second child and I studied Mass communication.

Onomewrites: what makes Atinuke so special and unique?

Atinuke: What makes Atinuke unique is what and how God made her to be. I can boldly say I’m unique to the glory of God alone, looking at all the positive mysteries that surrounds my birth, my growing up, my career and the peak of it, is my marital status.

Onomewrites: Marital status? Tell us about your love life?

Atinuke: I started dating early, I had my first boyfriend in SS2, I kept meeting wrong ones, they all wanted sex so when I refuse they pulled out of the relationship but some years later I started dating this guy and it was serious, I met his parents and he knew mine but the issue started when I realized he wasn’t committed. I started working at 25 so by then I was ready for marriage, I didn’t want to disturb him but the issue was he wasn’t serious about me until when he walked out of the relationship in 2015, 2015 was terrible for me, 6 years of my life with somebody and it led to nowhere I was hurt but at the end of the day I am glad it did not work out.

Onomewrites: wow, that’s serious, did you ever get depressed while waiting.

Atinuke: Yes I was at a time. The reason being that, like I mentioned earlier, I had a relationship of about 6 years that led to nowhere. To the glory of God, I was able to pick myself up and move on. Along the waiting period, a deceiver came into the picture, though I never fell into his trap, but it weighed me down. At a time, I was supposed to be in church, even to minister as a chorister, I woke up feeling depressed, had to switch off my phone because I knew that calls would come in from my Pastor, unit and church members. Thank God for the life of my Pastor then, the Lord used him for me, he got the revelation of what I was passing through at that moment, his call came in very early the next day and he said “I understand what happened” I started weeping, he counseled and prayed with me and ever since I refused to get depressed. Not easy my dear, but thank God it’s worth it. 

Onomewrites: How did you get over the depression?

Atinuke: How I got over it? I’m a lover of God since my childhood, I’ve worked in most units of the church and that kept me going. I was lost in the service of God, not minding my age, my status and whatever that was happening then. Some of my members and even my Pastor would pray that “God will look at your services in His vineyard and compensate you, because you deserve nothing but the best” I’ll say Amen. Only God knows how He would go about it. I was sha doing my own.

Onomewrites: so how did you spend your singlehood?

Atinuke: My single hood?  Nothing much. I’ve been a church girl from childhood, after the day’s work, if I’m not in my house, or my aunt’s house, I’ll be in church and that’s all. My Pastor would always laugh at me that I don’t go out. Once I’m hearing good sound of music, I’m good to go. 

I forgot to mention that during my years of waiting there was a particular period that I had single fathers coming my way (like two sha) and were asking for serious relationship, I said what! Are these part of my trying time or what. I accepted to be their friend and took them as my father and that was all. So to me, singleness was like a training school for me, had different experiences about marriages, about life and the likes. 

Onomewrites: How did you meet your fiancé?

Atinuke: How I met him? It was a divine arrangements o. Because it’s a way long far distance. Met him through a Pastor friend though. At a time, I was like all the while that I’ve been in this very State, you mean Mr. Right had been in a different State too. What a mystery, he once asked too that what happened to the guys where I reside? Thank God for everything, He gave me my best friend of friends. 

Onomewrites: How did you know he was the one?

Atinuke: Hmmmm, Onome!!! (Laughs) Though, I’ve always been praying to God that God o, I must not miss it in my marriage, give me the very man for me, because I’ve waited long enough not to enjoy marriage. During the waiting period, I didn’t remember to add that prayers became my way of life, not because I’m waiting but because I derive fellowship and unforgettable moments with my God. I came across a lot of ministers of God that adopted me. I’m blessed having them in my life. So when my prince charming came around, at first I said he’s not my kind of man in stature but I like him as a person. He has every other good qualities as a husband. I entered my war room, thank God for coming through to me, that unto Him I commit everything, that He should go ahead and give much clearer picture if truly He’s involved. And truly He proved Himself, I got conviction and confirmation to go ahead that I was safe, God took the wheel and we embarked on the journey. 

Ayọ mi (My joy) Don’t mind me, that’s what I call him. He’s my kind of person, understands me so well, he’s so matured, always tolerate my excess o, hmmmm. Man of prayers, very hardworking… let’s leave the rest sha (laughs).

Onomewrites: okay, all these lovey dovey things, can you say you are glad you waited?

Atinuke: I was glad I waited o, being the second born of the family. My older sister is almost 7 years in marriage. You know what that means. That I ought to have followed suite few years after her own. My grandmother once said it to my face that it has not happened before, the younger one should not follow the older one. I felt bad, like how was that my fault? Thank God for my mother, I called her and told her “Mum, please don’t give me pressure, when I’m ready I’m ready. If anybody ask you, tell them it’s happening soon to save yourself the stress”. She once said someone was saying it jokingly to her that abi “She’s selective ni” I just smiled when she was telling me. 

Thank God, He gave me my Aarons (Spiritual fathers and mothers) during those seasons.  I never looked like what I was passing through then. Not even looking aged at all (It’s God all the same). I joined the school of thought that age is just a number. I attended weddings of those that are older than me, my mates and those that are even far younger than me.  I lived my jolly cool life to the Glory of God alone, not minding what people would say or are saying to my face or behind me. Mbahhh! 

ONOME, truly the wait was worth it. I believe strongly that God kept me for million reasons o. Yes! I learnt to be strong for my God, my family, my church, my society and most importantly, my humble self. Like I said earlier, I never looked like what I’ve passed through rara. I’m always happy, Atinuke danced like no man business in the presence of my maker. I do tell them that, if I don’t attend parties to dig the dance, why won’t I be lost in His presence where I derive everlasting pleasure.  I learnt to trust in God the more, I learnt to wait on Him, pray and trust His leading.  I learnt to wave away society, family and friends pressure. The mentality that if you are 30 and still single, definitely you have a spiritual problem. But no, nothing was wrong with Atinuke. My God kept me for my King ni o.

Onomewrites: What a testimony! You had a lot to deal with but thank God for you, thank God you chose patience, so what’s your charge for singles?

Atinuke: To the singles. 

Humanly speaking, it is never going to be easy but it is always worth it only by the grace of God alone. 

My consolation is always from His word. Especially:
Isaiah 40:29: He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

Isaiah 40:30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Wait on the Lord. If you have been jilted or broken hearted before, don’t hesitate to let go, forget the past, pick yourself up and move on with your life and if you are in a vision less relationship, if you notice the guy or the lady is not ready to be committed or ready for any  serious relationship. Kindly let them go, some people are just time wasters.

Do not allow your family, society and friends pressure or push you to the journey of no return. Keep yourself for your King, he’s somewhere coming to you at the appointed time.  Don’t feel intimidated, ashamed or depressed. Be happy in your single hood, get busy with something tangible in your life and get busy for the Lord. Always make yourself happy and be radiant. The secret of being joyful is that it gets the devil crazy, It is when you look unkempt and looking for self-pity from people that he gets at you, and bring all sorts of temptations your way and don’t forget to keep yourself pure, you are worth waiting for.

Onomewrites: Thank you so much ma’am, so when is the wedding.

Atinuke: To the glory of God the wedding takes place on the 14th of April

Onomewrites: wawu, next weekend. I’m sure we are all invited.

Atinuke: (Laughs) Definitely.

Onomewrites: Thank you so much for your time ma.

Atinuke: It’s an honour and thank you for having me



“When the lord turned again the captivity of zion, we were like they that dream.” –Psalms 127:1

This is Miss Atinuke’s song, like she said it was not easy but the wait was worth it, singleness feels so annoying but if we embrace patience the best will come around. Keep being joyful, your king/queen is worth waiting for, be patient because soon I will share your testimony.

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome.




When Jemimah sent me a message that she would like me to share her story, to be honest I didn’t think she would have this great courage but somehow she summoned the courage and today I’m giving you the details of how she dealt with an addiction, I was touched listening to her but I knew it was because God wanted to use her for her generation and I’m so glad she said yes to God.

 Grab your bottle of Fanta and read.

Enjoy the interview

Onomewrites: Tell me something about yourself?

Jemima: I am Jemima, 24, a graduate of mining engineering, I’m a professional baker and I’m the last child of my parents 

Onomewrites: that makes you the baby of the house, that’s very nice. So tell me, what was growing up like?

Jemima: Growing up for me was very cool; I grew up with my sisters, we are all girls. My dad had to travel because of the nature of his job but I always had mum around.

Onomewrites: that’s beautiful, tell me what exactly were you addicted to?

Jemima: Pornography, it was like my life depended on it. I was so into it that it graduated from being a habit to an addiction.

Onomewrites: For how long were you into it?

Jemima: 7 years, it was the darkest years of life. I lived in shame and defeat, I felt so dirty especially when I had to take a programme in church.

Onomewrites: wow…. I’m really trying to see how you felt and I can say it must have been tough

Jemima: you can say that again.

Onomewrites: How did it all begin?

Jemima:  My boyfriend at that time asked me to download games on a particular website and somehow I found pornography and that was I became so used to visiting the site before I knew it I couldn’t do without it.

Onomewrites: after watching it what happens to you?

Jemima: I feel excited and sometimes I feel so exhausted that I sleep off

Onomewrites: how exactly did you get over it?

Jemima: Getting over it was not so easy, it was a serious battle. I got born again in 2007 but I took my journey with the lord seriously in 2010 and so the devil kept reminding me all the time of how much of a mess I was. I tried for years to stop but I couldn’t, I could go for months without viewing and then view it again months later. 

I got tired of doing it so I became determined, I cried out to God for help and I looked for messages that was related to breaking bad habits, I followed the instructions then I read articles from people that got freed, I was intentional about not viewing so I got busy. There were times the urge would come, I try to get busy there are times I would sleep, read, watch movies, call or chat then I kept reminding God to deliver me because I knew He is the greatest deliverer. Today I am totally free 

Onomewrites: that’s a big testimony and i must say congratulations. Getting over an addiction is not always easy but I’m glad you conquered and decided to share your story.

Onomewrites: let me ask you, what gave you the confidence to share your story?

Jemima: I have been having a leading to talk about how the lord helped me, I guess there are people who need to read and know that they are not alone and I am not ashamed to share my story,for me it is a testimony.

Onomewrites: what is advice do you have to those who are going through such an addiction?


Know that you are not alone

Be determined to stop the act

Seek help

Voice out: if you don’t voice out you will keep suffering in silence when there are people who can help you, but at the same time be very sensitive, it’s not everybody you can talk to.

Read articles from those that got freed

Listen to messages

Seek God’s help

Onomewrites: Jemima, where do yourself in three years?

Jemima: (Smiles) in my husband’s house surrounded by my children and most importantly affecting lives positively.

Onomewrites: I must commend you for reaching out to me to share your story; it’s such a great courage. I pray for wisdom in all you do.

Jemima: Thank you for having me, Amen to your prayers. God bless you ma.

Statistics show that over 650,000,000 searches for pornsites have been conducted online since the first of 2015 (https://nobullying.com/pornography-addiction-statistics/) that’s to tell that a lot of people are addicted to this particular habit and we can’t fold our hands and watch, if there is a time to talk about it then it is now.

I understand it is hard to seek for help especially in a world where your secrets are not safe even in the church but don’t because of that allow the devil to cheat on you, you can get over that useless addiction but you need to be determined.

God is always ready to help, the bible says He is a very present help in trouble (Psalms 46:1b) but God will never force his way, all you need to do is to call on him and He will answer. Don’t suffer in silence, the devil has cheated you enough, get up and call on Jesus, he will gladly help you.

Further study: Download the novel Broken by ufuomaee on Okada books, it is free and it will help you further and if you need a counselor then I’m just a message away.

I love you!

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome




“The lord says “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you” (psalm 32:8) NLT.

The year was 2015, Tola met David in a seminar and they bonded so well, they became so close that Tola was looking forward to when David would tell her exactly how he felt, everyone felt they were a strong duo. The day Tola dreamt of came to pass when David called and said they should meet as he had something to tell her but she was shocked when uncle said “The lord is not saying about us”, she managed to gather herself and went home heartbroken.

This is just one of such stories I’ve heard, seen and even experienced  and at the same time I’ve also seen and experienced different guys telling a particular lady the lord told them she is their wife and I wonder is God really speaking to them?

As a relationship coach, one major cause of confusion for people has been “what is the will of God about who I should marry”. I’ve met several people who have been so confused about this particular issue and one major bone of contention has been “love versus the Lord says”. A lady sent me a message last year asking me if the lord could lead someone to a person you don’t love. 

What exactly is the will of God?

The lord has promised to guide and instruct us, his will is that we have a good marriage but at the same time God has given every individual the power of choice. All through the bible there are just three instances where it SEEMS as if God chose a partner for them.

1. Adam and Eve (Gen 2: 18-23): when God saw that Adam was alone and there was no helper suitable for him, he created Eve, when Adam saw Eve he immediately named her just like he named other creatures and she became who Adam called her to be. Adam had a choice but he chose Eve.

2. Isaac and Rebecca (Gen 24:1-67): Abraham called for his trusted servant and sent him to find a wife for his son Isaac in his own country, the servant went and prayed to the God of his master he specifically told God what he wanted, a woman who was respectful, kind, loyal and caring which God granted and even after that Rebecca was still asked if she would go with the servant which she agreed to.

3. Hosea and Gomer (Hosea 1: 2-5): Hosea was instructed by God to love and marry a harlot to show how God felt and loved his nation Israel even after they deserted him for other gods.

Asides these three there is no other instance in the bible where God chose, he only directed them to each other (Ruth and Boaz), God will never FORCE you to marry anyone.

It’s funny when the only time some people decide to listen to God is when they want to marry, when they have not even mastered the art of listening to God, how do you expect to hear correctly? 

Truthfully, Love is not the only factor to make a good home but at the same you can’t underestimate its presence. If you don’t love the person who claims God revealed you to him/ her please don’t go ahead. I’ve heard people say love grows which is very true but please let that love grow before you say I do. Don’t marry anyone because the lord says alone, make sure you also say. I repeat don’t marry anyone you won’t be happy being with; you will end up frustrating yourself and your partner.

How do I choose?

 “Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37: 4) NKJV

Choose with God:

Let God be in your decision, make him the authentic match maker, make sure you check in your spirit with the lord after finding (Proverbs 18:22). Get your own word from God, I’m not against going to your pastor for prayer but whoever you choose to marry is 100% your decision; you are the one to live with the person. 

Stop managing relationships in the name of the “The lord said” God never wants you to live a frustrated life, stop living in bondage and fear (2Timothy 1:7). The Lord loves you and He knows the end from the beginning so choose with God, get a word from God before you move ahead.

NB: God’s plan is that you marry in the kingdom, God won’t direct you to an unbeliever, marry in your father’s kingdom (2 Corinthians 6: 14).


“Can two walk together unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3) NKJV.

Even if the revelation you got lasted for 10 hours, you still have your own part to play to make the relationship work. A good relationship is work, the supernatural will not last and you will make God a liar if you are not committed to making the relationship work, it takes two committed people who effectively communicate to have a great and lasting relationship.

Pardon me if I’ve not been able to answer your burning questions through this particular post, there is a lot to say but time and space would not permit me. If you are confused or you need a friend to talk to and if you want to speak with a counselor, I’m just a message away from you send me a message on onomewrites@gmail.com and I will definitely get back to you.

May you never endure your marriage (Amen).

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome