“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Songs of Solomon 8:4 (NLT).


I celebrated my birthday last week and it took me down memory lane, I realized I made some mistakes and I have no regrets but it is expedient that the world understands that there is always a better way and some mistakes are better avoided.


I hope this letter encourages that single person who is tired of waiting and it helps that person who keeps trying to find love on his own terms, I’m not asking you to give up on love I’m only asking to try the best method! Before you give up read this:


My Dearest Onome,

Baby girl, I can see that you are trying. You have jumped from one boyfriend to another, moved from one situationship to another relationship searching for what is not lost. You wonder if God is with you. He set you up with some to help them, he used you for them but yet none is the answer. You have wondered where he is. Not one of these men is qualified to help you fulfill the assignment. He is not the one.

All your friends are in serious relationships they are flaunting their relationships on social media, you prayed for them and they are happy but you ask where your own Isaac is? You met a new guy some months ago he is handsome and classy what if he is the one? no my dear he is not the one.

You have known this one for a long while he has been on and off but you think this time around he is here to stay you gladly tell your friends about him, you are waiting for the day he will ask you out but he is yet to say anything. He keeps telling you he loves you but he is not proving it, it became worse when he forgot your birthday but you forgave him after all you love him but on his birthday you went all out flaunting him on social media stop wasting your time my darling he is not the one.

Then you met another you know he is not the one but you can’t afford to be single you think singleness is a life of loneliness but what you don’t understand is that it is a life of surrender. Every time the thought of him leaving you comes to your head you get panic attacks, you prayed that God should make him the one but you know you are not of the same passion. I know he loves God but He is not assigned to you I know it hurts but he is not the one.

Stop trying to do it without God, stop forcing the father into relationships he never ordained. Little did you know that all the father needs from you is total trust. Give him the pen of your love life and let Him write the best story with it.

Little did you know that all the efforts you are putting in getting people to see you or men to like you, God wants you to invest in Him. He wants you to seek him with the whole of your heart and he in turn will bless you with the desires of your heart.

Little did you know that years from now you will meet your man. This man will love you passionately, he will gladly show you off, he will be God’s gift to you. Do you know that he will love you with all his might and apologize deeply when he is wrong? Do you know this man will lead you back to the father? He will pray for you and with you. Do you know that He will love you like Christ loves the church? Do you know he will not be shy to tell everyone you are his? Do you know he will treat you like a queen that you are? Do you know together you will fulfill purpose and serve the father forever?

Do you know that it’s possible to have undeniable peace in a relationship?  Do you know that the validation you think you can get from another man can ONLY come from God?

Baby girl, you have tried. Now rest. You are smart and beautiful, you don’t need any man’s validation, you are a complete being. you deserve to be loved and valued, you deserve to be happy.  stop doing it your own way. rest in the father’s love. Love who you are and the woman you are becoming. Be patient love will find you at the right time.

Enjoy singleness and be deeply rooted in the father. This man is worth waiting for so while you wait be prepared.

Your big sister,




I know waiting is tough if you ask me I have a lot of stories to tell but I’m a testimony that nothing is wrong with being satisfied in your singleness. Nothing is wrong with you chasing the father. Stop trying to seek validation from men, you are complete in Christ. Stop chasing love let your heart find rest in the father’s love! The wait is always worth it because the right one will make you forget all the pains.

I love you!

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome