Onomewrites

Impacting Nations

DEAR GOD, DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME?

November 2020, I  resigned from a toxic work environment (if you want the full gist, click here). After resigning, I promised myself I would not hurry to get another job because you know what they say about making the same mistake twice.

I got a side gig as a customer care representative for an e-commerce service company in February 2021. The pay was little when compared to the work I was doing. Still, I did not mind because at least something was coming in, and I enjoyed solving problems.

I was still searching for a job. In April 2021, I got a good job that was flexible, and the pay was fair, so I said yes to the offer and resumed work immediately. I had a condition before taking the offer, I was employed as a content writer, and when I asked how many people were on the team, I was told it was myself and a graphics designer.

Boy, there was no way I could do a digital marketer’s job. I told them to employ a digital marketer, and they promised to. Two weeks after I resumed, they hired one, and I was so excited, but unfortunately, the terms were not conducive for the person; she left after working for two weeks.

After the digital marketer left, the company refused to employ another person, and they expected me to take up the role, which I could not. It was always a tug of war. The MD/CEO felt I was not competent enough because the company’s social media pages were not growing as she expected.

This woman expected me to grow a page using content only. I tried explaining, but I was not good enough to her, so she went ahead to employ a digital marketing agency. The agency was responsible for all social media pages, which means she does not need my services anymore.

My line manager, God bless his kind heart, tried all he could to convince her to let me stay, but she wanted me out. I started seeing some toxic traits when she called me useless in one of our zoom meetings with the digital agency.

Some weeks after, I dropped my resignation letter because I didn’t want to be sacked. I remember sending that email with tears in my eyes because the truth is that I was tired of job hunting. I came back home, and my sweet husband kept telling me it would be alright.

Here is the thing, I gave a testimony about this job in one of the groups I belonged to in church and here was I three months after with a resignation letter. I felt like God had frauded me. I cried for so many nights. I was pissed and asked why he allowed me to take that job in the first place.

 I was throwing tantrums at God, the maker of heaven and earth, the one who can do all things o (Onome, you are bold o lol ); well, He is my father. I refused to pray for days, and the thought of the MD/CEO of that company annoyed me.

My sendoff cake

It took me months to forgive this woman and everyone involved in me losing my job. I found my peace back when I chose to submit to God and allow Him to lead me. I decided to worship God with tears and pains; in that place of worship, I found peace and strength. He wants the best for me, and today, I’m glad he took me out of that company when He did.

At the same time, I made great friends in that company that I won’t trade for anything. I remember how we cried and hugged on my last day at work. It’s a memory I won’t forget.

I’m in a place of contentment, and I am currently working on my next assignment. I’m not actively searching for jobs, but God keeps sending me gigs, and I have not lacked. That’s how amazing my father is.

There are so many lessons that God has taught me in this phase that I can’t wait to share with you.

CONCLUSION

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed”. Psalm 34: 18 (NLT).

This scripture comforted me in my pain, and I could feel God. I don’t know what your story is, and if, like me, you are angry at God, please don’t be. He has your best interest at heart. He will come through because He makes all things beautiful in His own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Trust requires you to leave all other plans and cling to God. It is a case of I have no one else, it’s either you help me, or I’m finished. His plans for you are good, and your future is so beautiful.

When you don’t know what to do, worship because you will find strength and comfort in the place of worship, Papa is close to you, and He is ever ready to give you strength. Never doubt His love.

Cheers to you trusting God and coming out stronger.

With love,

Onome.

MY WORSHIP PLAYLIST

Worship is something I enjoy doing, especially when I’m not in the best mood. It always makes me feel like I just slapped the devil in his face. Worship is my therapy when I’m sad, and even when I’m happy, it gives me this peace and joy I can’t explain.

I remember worshipping and praying one day, and the Lord said to me, “Whatever happens, always find your way back here” that day, I felt new, and I felt loved. On this journey of faith, there is a lot the Lord is teaching me, and I’m always excited to share the lessons.

You can’t get it wrong in the place of worship. When it gets tough and you don’t know what to do, enter into the place of worship, submit to His will and watch how He comes through for you.

These past months some songs have spoken to me in ways I’ve never imagined. These songs are my go-to songs, and each time I worship, I have my faith strengthened and renewed.

The songs are:

  1. Nobody by Tim Godfrey ft Ntonzo Mbambo
  2. Jireh by Maverick city &Elevation Music ft Chandler Moore and Naomi Raine
  3. You’re Gonna get the glory by Tasha Cobbs
  4. One moment by Freke Umoh
  5. Hymn Medley by Maveric city ft Chandler Moore
  6. Victory belongs to Jesus by Ric Hassani ft Called out music and Frank Edwards
  7. Yah by Dunsin Oyekan
  8. I’ll be here
  9. Isaiah song by Maverick city ft Chandler Moore
  10. Olorun Agbaye by Nathaniel Bassey ft Chandler Moore and Oba

Click play and enjoy a time of worship

CONCLUSION

When listening to these songs, let your faith be activated, key into the messages and watch how Papa comes to dine with you. Oh, don’t forget to go into His presence with a pen and a jotter. He is always ready to talk to you.

You can download each song by clicking the download icon by the side of each song

I love you.

Your friend and sister,

Onome.

LETTER TO HOPE

Dear Hope,

As a little girl, Mama gave me lectures and sermons about you. She taught me about how important you are in everyone’s life. She said you are the one people hold on to for survival a lot of times. She also added that you had two siblings called Faith and Love, she said Love was the eldest, but I needed all three of you to survive, I remembered that sermon, and it became my mantra.

Growth happened, and the little girl became a teenager, life came at me, and I was so scared, I was scared to trust you because humans failed me and I felt you would too, but you did fail me, I held on for so long, but nothing happened, they said it was going to be better, but it wasn’t. Life dealt with me, and you didn’t save me, so I let go of you and your siblings.

Throwing you away became my greatest regret, the minute I kicked you out your rival took charge of my life, I can’t remember asking him to, but he did, and it almost ruined me. Depression took over, all I thought of was death, and I didn’t even know what to do so I resolved to tears and pains, and I wished I didn’t run from you, nobody could save me.

Fear crippled my life, Uncle Faith’s rival, and life wasn’t just worth living anymore. Still, in the middle of all of these, your brother Love found me. He looked for me, did all he could to rescue me from hurting myself. He came in a different package, I was so stubborn, yet he was patient, he was so persistent yet gentle, and because depression was gradually killing me, I succumbed to love, and my life received a revival.

Hope, I’m sorry I kicked you out, but I need you, I know Love will never leave me, but I have to keep working on my relationship with you and Faith, but it’s incredible to see that once I can work on my relationship with Love, you and Faith will be so natural. How I love your family.

I know it’s not going to be easy, even as a grown-up lady I still get scared about tomorrow, I sometimes worry about getting things right, I still get nervous I will mess things up and frustrate Love. Yet, Love said there is nothing I can do to push him away. I cried when he said that, so does that mean I have you and Faith for the rest of my life? That is such a great relief.

Life is always going to push me, challenges will come my way, friends will disappoint me, I will fight with my man, my parents, and siblings will get on my nerves, but I will choose you and your siblings over and over again, I will walk in Love, embrace you and keep Faith.

Hope, if there is one lesson the year 2020 taught me is that I need you to survive, you were my succour throughout the year.

I will remember Mama’s lecture because I can’t live life without you. I can’t run my marriage without you because there will always be challenges there, I can’t run my job without you because my boss will still want more from me, I can’t run my relationship with my friends without you because there will be issues, but I hold on to you.

With you and your siblings, life is worth living, and we can go to bed knowing that today may be challenging, but tomorrow is certainly going to better.

Thank you for being a constant support and strength!

I love you so much, please give my warm regards to Faith and Love, tell them they mean a lot to me, and one of these days I will write a note to them too.

Your buddy,

 Onome

CONCLUSION

The year 2020 tested me on so many levels, there were days I cried like a baby, and there were days filled with laughter, but each season taught me growth, perseverance, and God’s Love. I don’t know what this year brought for you but look at you, God kept you, and you survived!

2021 will bring marvellous testimonies.

Thank you for your Love and support!

I love you so much.

DEAR BELIEVER, REFUSE TO BE SILENCED

“For I, the Lord, love justice,

I hate robbery in the burnt offering;

And I will faithfully give them their recompense

And make an everlasting covenant with them.” (Isaiah 61:8)

It’s been days since the #endsars movement started. It’s been a season of liberation with the youths demanding for justice. What excites me about this movement is how young people of different ages, religion, beliefs and tribes put aside their differences to support one cause which is to put an end to police brutality in our nation Nigeria.

I am excited at what God is doing because this is a sign that there is hope for our dear nation Nigeria, it means my generation is awake and like the Israelites, we are ready to crush down Jericho. I have seen a lot of believers who have decided to be lackadaisical about this movement because we believe that grace covers us so we are safe.

I’m not disputing the fact that grace covers us but we owe the next generation a better legacy, we cannot inherit the silence of our fathers, Jesus died for all of us and its time for a revolution. God loves justice, isn’t that why he destroyed Pharaoh and the Egyptians because they refused to let His children go (Exodus 9:1).

The next question is, what can you do to lend your voice?

THINGS TO DO

PRAY:

“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land” (2 chronicles 7:14).

This is the first thing to do, God answers prayers and we can’t deny His love. There are lots of prayer walk in cities around you, look for the nearest one and join. This battle is of the lord and we are certain He will give us victory.

Intercessors this is the time to arise and call on God for intervention. Nigeria is our country and we must do the best we can for our home, we need to ask for mercy and speak peace into the land. Let’s use our authority to seek the father’s face.

Each time believers gather to pray; something happens and we can be a great spiritual support if we choose to pray.

PROPHESY:

I’ve heard people speak negative words, things like “Nobody can help Nigeria” “You are only wasting your time” as a believer we know that our God is an expert at impossibilities and Nigeria will not be an exemption.

Let’s decree over this nation that the #endsars movement will yield good results, that an end will come to brutality and senseless killings. Let’s call forth unity and that the eyes of every police officer are opened to know that we are not fighting against them but for them. Use your words to encourage and speak positivity.

PROTEST

Nobody is against you going out to protest. It is perfectly okay for believers to protest, it’s time to remove the sentiments and face the truth. You are a citizen of this nation and you pay tax so it is your right to demand justice. It is wrong to say believers cannot protest because we are covered, remember that Joshua went to battle with the Amalekites to take over the land the Lord promised the Israelites (Exodus 17:8-13). While you are going out to protest, stay safe and don’t fight. We are advocates of peace and don’t forget to shine your light.

USE YOUR GIFTS

Designers, programmers and content creators’ whatever gift you have let us use our gifts to promote the #endsars movement. This nation needs you right now and you can’t afford to fold your arms. Play your part, use your platforms and let us fight for the peace of this nation.

CONCLUSION

“On that day the LORD will shield those who live in Jerusalem, so that the feeblest among them will be like David, and the house of David will be like God, like the angel of the LORD going before them.” Zechariah 12:8

I am convinced that a new nation is arising, the lord is redeeming Nigeria and it’s time for the change we have all been praying for. We did not inherit the fear and silence of our fathers, we owe our children a better nation, we owe them a transformed nation and we owe them a legacy that they have a voice in Nigeria.

If you can’t be a Joshua that will go into battle then be a Moses holding the staff to help Joshua win the battle. Use your voice and let’s demand justice!

Shall we pray?

Nigeria,

We speak peace to your borders

We pray increase

We pray for passionate leaders

We ask for mercy Lord

We ask for peace and justice

We ask that an end has come to bloodshed of innocent lives

We pray you are an enviable nation

We pray your light shines for all nations to see

Everyone protesting is safe

An end has come to brutality and victimization

(Amen)

Dear Believer, refuse to be silenced the next generation is counting on you. Arise and let’s put an end to injustice in Nigeria.

Image source: Akorede Olaitan for Upfront studios

OPEYEMI: BEAUTY FOR ASHES

“To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61: 3 NKJV

Writing Opeyemi’s story gives me bittersweet memories. We were friends from afar before we got close in 2018 when a mutual friend recommended her services. She became my hairstylist and we got really close.

I always knew there was more to her, so when she called me last month and said, “Onome, I want to share my story”, I knew the time had come. Listening to her while she shared her story, gave me a lot of emotional chills. I cried and wondered but at the end of the story, something stood out, and that is the fact that “God is good and His mercies endureth forever”

I want you to read this story and see a woman who was broken but not despaired, struck down but not destroyed. A woman who went through the fire but came out stronger, one who God loves.

Grab your bottle of orange juice and let’s meet Opeyemi Oguntimeyin nee Olagunju.

THE INTERVIEW

Onome: Tell us a little about yourself

Opeyemi: I’m Opeyemi Oguntimeyin nee Olagunju. I’m a businesswoman, I love money, please. I’m married to an amazing man who is a pastor and I am a full-time child of God

Onome: What was growing up like?

Opeyemi: Wasn’t fun, had so many memories but looking back I think everything worked together for good. I started looking up to men early to meet my needs, my parents were not poor; we were comfortable. When a need arose and my parents could not meet up, I had a man I could call that would meet that need.

Onome: If I may ask, when did you start looking up to men to meet your needs?

Opeyemi: I lost my virginity to rape. There was a young guy around my compound, who kept having sex with me at a young age; that was when I was within age 11 and 15. I became wild and started going out with guys when I was 15. Within age 15 and 17, I had slept with about 10 guys and three married men, just to get money. In fact not just for my needs but to also help others.

Onome: (At this point I was crying) I’m so sorry you had to go through that but would you say you were addicted to sex?

Opeyemi: Yes I was, couldn’t go a week without sex. Along the line I got pregnant by one of my older boyfriends, I tried getting rid of the pregnancy but was unable to do that. That was how I had my first son. It was a disgrace on my part then but after giving my life to Christ, it became a blessing to me and my family.

Onome: How did your parents react when they found out you were pregnant?

 Opeyemi: Hmmm…my mum, a mother I can’t trade for anything, accepted me with all her heart, but my wonderful dad, being disappointed in me at first, was so bitter and he angrily told me to move to the man’s house.

Onome: What did you do at this point?

Opeyemi: My mom kept on pleading that he should let me stay. I kept crying because I didn’t know what to do.

Onome: Did people stigmatise, did your friends laugh at you?

Opeyemi: Yes, a lot of them. In fact, I almost cried my eyes out.

Onome: So sorry. Did the father of the baby accept responsibility?

Opeyemi: The father of the baby accepted the responsibility and was providing what he could afford for a particular period, but suddenly he stopped. When I realized, I told him I couldn’t marry him. My sister, that was just the tip of the iceberg oo! There’s a lot more to say.

Onome: (Sigh) We are here for the story. Please take your time (At this point we were both getting emotional).

Opeyemi: I started sleeping with different men and boys after I stopped breastfeeding my son. There were times I slept with two or three men in a day, I masturbated and In fact, I tried lesbianism once. I just couldn’t stop myself. I travelled to different places like Lagos, Abuja, Minna and a lot more to meet with men I had never seen before.

Onome: Did you at any point, abort a pregnancy?

Opeyemi: The first time I aborted, it was painful. I even landed in the hospital but at a point, I got used to it until Christ himself saved me. I had nothing less than 10 abortions, 6 D &Cs and the rest with drugs. I went for nursing training which exposed me to all the drugs I could use instead of going through the stress of D&C. Onome Jesus loves me, that’s all I can say.

Onome: How and when did you get born again?

Opeyemi: I love to answer that question with a smile because that was how I experienced a sudden change in my life. I got born of Christ totally, and finally in the year 2017, with my husband’s help, I received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. It happened through a phone conversation also, all just within a space of three months.

Onome: How did you meet your husband?

Opeyemi:  I have been waiting for this to come. I met my husband at my brother’s wedding. I was to serve his food that day, he appreciated me and my stature. That was how the friendship started, but it was just a lustful friendship. We had to break up our friendship for a while, I guess it’s the Lord’s doing, in order to make the relationship a pure one because we were already lusting after each other, but we didn’t date. We came in contact again in the first month in January of 2017.

Onome:  How did you guys start dating?

Opeyemi: We were just discussing on phone that day and he asked me a strange question, “Can you marry a pastor?” I never wanted to marry a pastor but I told him to let the will of God be done. I was not born again then oo! but I was tired of the promiscuous lifestyle. So my behaviour had reduced to the minimum, you know as a normal worldly person, one boyfriend at a time. So he told me to go and pray about it, which I did but what I did not understand, was how someone would have peace about an issue when you are not saved? Because I had peace to go with him when I prayed about him that was how we started.

 He gave me different books and asked me to read the Bible every day, starting from the new testament and explain what I read in the book, then take pictures and send it to him every day. Until one day, I told him I masturbated and he asked if I have given my life to Christ, I said yes but no more in Christ; so he led me to Christ that day. Onome, 2017 was the year the Lord changed my story.

Onome: After you got born again, did you still have sex?

Opeyemi: Yes I did but with a man. Truth is, addiction is not something you just stop, it’s gradual. I had sex four or five times before my wedding.

Onome: Was it with your husband?

Opeyemi: My husband fulfilled his promise to abstain from sex until we got married but I did not. I had sex anytime I needed something urgently and it was delaying.

Onome: Was your husband aware you did this?

Opeyemi: I confessed to my husband and he forgave me. Each time I messed up I felt bad but I was relieved when I confessed to him and we moved on.

Onome: When would you say you stopped?

Opeyemi: I just knew it was gradual but a few months to my wedding I stopped totally. I honestly think I’m a product of grace. God loves me and He is a merciful father. I saw God’s love through my husband. I kept messing up but he chose to stay with me. We got married 22nd September 2018 and God gave us a son in June 2020. Like I said I’m a product of God’s love.

Onome: Thank you for sharing your story Opeyemi. Hope you don’t mind me interviewing your husband for a follow up of this story?

Opeyemi: He is looking forward to it. He was the one who encouraged me when I got the nudge to share my story.

Onome: Thank you!

CONCLUSION

“But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)” Ephesians 2: 4-5.

Opeyemi’s story felt like I was listening to Hosea and Gomer’s story in real life. It’s a story of God’s love! I don’t how far you think you have gone but our father is rich in Mercy and love. He is waiting for you and just like Opeyemi, he will give you beauty for ashes.

Ps: Fam, I would be interviewing Opeyemi’s husband very soon for a follow up of this story. Stay tuned!

RELATED: JEMIMA: GETTING OFF THE SHACKLES OF ADDICTION

You have my love,

Onome