Chronicles of a PK-2
(A decision to live right)
Preacher’s kid (PK)
In case you missed the first part of this article read up here
If there is one thing you don’t choose in life it is your parents, nobody gets to choose who gives birth to them. It is God’s idea so I need you to understand that God definitely knew what He was doing when he decided that your parents will be preachers. You need to stop complaining and wake up to accept your call.
Being a Pk is a call on its own and I’m sure you don’t want to fail God, stop blaming your parents for your mistakes; you don’t need to hate your church members either.
Your life is a product of your decisions and people can only advise you or push you, you still have the decision to make, you can choose to allow their criticisms tear you apart or push you forward.
Before I continue let me share with you two different stories written by two different people, the only common thing about both writers is that they are Pks.
MY EXPERIENCE AS A PK
I am a PK and I am so proud to declare it but initially I hated it. My story is a bit unique in the sense that my dad wasn’t just a Preacher, but was and still is a deliverance minister. And as a result I have had my own fair share of challenges.
My story goes thus:
I was born and raised in a Christian home by a father who was not just strict but also very blunt and life was very challenging for me. My dad had some routines you must strictly abide to if you want to remain in his house and they are:
1. Family devotion
2. Bible recitation
The first time I fasted in my life was when I was about 4years old. Fasting was done every Saturday in my house and you are not permitted to eat until 12 noon and on such days the kitchen is always empty so you can’t even think of visiting the kitchen.
When we misbehaved the favorite scripture for discipline in the house, was Eph.6vs.1-3. And also the adage that says “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. We learnt to pray by force. So it actually took time to develop a friendly relationship with God. It was more of if you don’t pray or read your bible the cane is just around the corner. It was compulsory.
Well, such was my growing up experience but beyond that the church folks had very high expectations of us as and if by chance we got to lie or misbehave we were done for, because daddy must definitely hear and our beating would start right from the church and we would get more when we got back to the house. Most times we were not just dealt with by the cane there are days we were taken for deliverance because there was a belief that it must be a demon causing us to misbehave.
Well the good news of the entire story is that the experience made me strong emotionally and also made me a better person in retrospect. So even till now I can do without meal without any hindrance.
The experience taught me the value on time management and consciousness on responsibilities given. When I finally got to know who God is the experience made me value my relationship with Him and it also helped me to get closer to God.
Being a PK might not be fun initially but I got to love who I was as I grew older and saw life differently.
MY EXPERIENCE AS A PASTOR’S KID
A lot of people often think being a pastor’s child is something trivial and normal. But no! It’s not, I’ve experienced it and I’m still experiencing it. When you’re a pastor’s child, you don’t get to live like a regular child, it changes you so much, the extent of which you might not know. And the thing is it either softens you or hardens you more.
When my father became a pastor, things changed for me and my siblings, everything changed, the first time we got to the church where my dad was pastoring, I could remember my age mates using honorifics like “sir” for me. I felt good at first, it was as if I was held in high regard but then I noticed that it was hard for me to make friends with them using honorifics for me. I was only able to make friends when they dropped the honorifics. Nevertheless, the respect was still there. Then, of course, there were the typical expectations from congregants and peers about the kind of person I should be. I was expected to be this “unflawed fruit of the spirit” guy, as a pastor’s child when you’re 5 years old, people see 10, then at 10 they see 18, at 18 they see 25, and you were expected to grow up at a very tender age. They all want you to be perfect and it makes me feel like am suffocating or drowning, it’s sometimes as if I had forgotten who I am and am stucked, doing another person’s best, living another life, a totally different life.
I suddenly became a model, someone that all my mates and even older people look up to, I barely had a social life, this is probably the main reason why I seldom go out of my room, even though am a man. These expectations are unending, academically, I was expected to be tops, always, spiritually, I was expected to be spirit-filled, morally I was expected to be 100% sound, I must never make a mistake – it’s like every single step I take is being monitored. The remark often heard from pastor’s kids is a feeling of being held to a higher standard and you come across the never-ending persistent question everyday “aren’t you a pastor’s child?”
And though I faced a lot as a pastor’s child – still facing a lot, it still made me who I am today, it made me to grow up at a very young age, I became mature and more matured at a tender age, I got to meet great people, it even brace me with the sense of having a responsibility and above all I became closer to God.
And even though at first it seemed that I had to live another life, people expected me to be different, yes, I was, I was different, until I started living me, it was tough being a pastor’s kid, but it has taught me something and it is the fact that being a pastor’s kid you can’t run away from it. you just have to face it as you, as who you are, let them see you’re not the unflawed guy they all think you are, yes you have flaws and you will make mistakes so that you’ll be corrected, and you’ll never feel like you’re drowning again, if you live you and you just do you!
When I read these stories I felt their pains and their joy and I can really relate with the two stories. Until you accept who you are people will always have a say over you. The only person you owe your life is God so let your life please Him and not any man.
Gone are the days of the generation of Eli, Pks are doing great things so don’t you ever believe that myth that says Pks are always instruments for the devil. No, we are God’s battle axe to help and support our parents’ ministry.
There are Pks who are pastors, just take a cue from Pastor David Oydepo (Jnr), look at Pastor Leke Adeboye and many others. You need to stop sulking and be who God made you to be.
Don’t allow people give you reasons why you need to pretend, you don’t have to please anybody just make a decision to live right and please God.
Keep being you!
I love you!