Her aura speaks peace, her intelligence and depth got me attracted and I asked myself “who is this girl?”. From the moment I heard her speak, I knew she had to be my friend. Ify is not your regular tech lady; she is an amazing personality. We got talking the first time we had to work on a project. The passion she puts in her career is applaudable.
I was surprised when I heard she was getting married; not because she is too young but because she was just too calm to be preparing for a wedding. I wondered what her secret was and even after her wedding, she was still glowing.
I sat down with Ify one beautiful afternoon after her honeymoon and we had a chat about her wedding preparations and the place of love in relationships.
Take a bottle of cold Fanta and sip, as we have a chat with Ify
ONOME: Tell us a little about yourself
IFY: I am Ify N. Ebelebe, a tech enthusiast. I am an individual who loves to learn and apply new skills. I am quiet when surrounded with people I’m not familiar with but jovial with close pals. I love simplicity and I also enjoy my space.
ONOME: At what point in your life did you start thinking about your marriage?
IFY: You can call me a geek but what matters to me is learning new skills and applying it, so marriage wasn’t on the table for me in my undergraduate days but after I finished school I had to ask myself what I wanted from life and while thinking about that, I knew someday I would get married. It’s safe to say I started thinking of marriage a year after my Undergraduate days.
ONOME: How did you meet your husband?
IFY: We attended the same University but never talked nor greeted. We met again during NYSC at a conference organized by NCCF. We only greeted and parted ways. Not until we met at the wedding of a University colleague, where he sat on the same table I sat with other colleagues. He cracked jokes and made everyone laugh. We got talking after the wedding and exchanged phone numbers and the rest they say is history.
ONOME: When did you become certain he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
IFY: That’s a very interesting question Onome and very important. Love is very important but at the same time it is not the only thing you need to be convinced. I became certain he was the one because amidst the love his presence brought an unexplainable joy and peace and his dreams and goals align with mine.
ONOME: How did you feel the first time you were going to meet his parents?
IFY: Meeting the parents, that’s a lot. We are from different tribes so I was really nervous and also excited that he was going to meet my parents. I initially felt my parents would say no because of the tribal difference but it was a different story entirely. They love him and his own parents welcomed me with love too.
ONOME: How is it like preparing for a wedding ceremony?
IFY: Preparing for a wedding ceremony can be stressful especially when you have no event planner. I didn’t have the chance to shop during the week because of work. I only had weekends to do my shopping and planning. I tried as much as possible not to be excessive in spending since it was just going to be a day event; I could be very strict when it comes to budgeting. I stuck strictly to what I needed and nothing more. I wrote a list of all I needed in order of priority and it really helped in managing my finances.
ONOME: If you had the chance to change something about your wedding day what would it be?
IFY: My wedding day? Absolutely nothing! I had the time of my life and I was able to manage my finances well. It’s a day I can’t forget!
ONOME: What’s your advice to every bride preparing for her big day?
IFY: Spend wisely. This is very important. Don’t put your fiancé under pressure. Don’t try to please anyone because after that day you are left alone with your spouse to face the music. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Do not panic before the D-day because that day will come and pass and finally make sure you enjoy your day. Don’t allow anything to get you angry or upset. You are the bride! it’s your day, so don’t forget to smile.
ONOME: What is the place of God in marriage?
IFY: The way I see it is that He is the centre of a successful marriage. He is a very important factor and without Him, there is no successful marriage!
ONOME: What do you love about your husband?
IFY: A lot but these are on top of my list; He is neat, jovial and very caring.
ONOME: How does it feel adjusting to the new life of being married?
IFY: I see it as a learning process. It’s been fun trying new things. Adjusting is the big thing but I’m getting there but above all, it’s been an interesting ride so far; I’m really enjoying it.
ONOME: Thank you so much Ify, it’s been great talking to you. Thank you for being so real and honest.
IFY: The pleasure is mine, Onome. Thank you for having me.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4: 6 (NLT).
Weddings are beautiful moments that can’t be erased and at the same time, pressures would always come around but you need to stop worrying. One of the things that attracted Ify to me was that state of rest she had. For a bride who had no event planner, she felt too relaxed; but this lady just knew God would come through and He sure did. Her wedding was a massive success.
Dear couples to be, you need to plan and relax. Don’t try to please anyone. Weddings will come and go but the marriage should be your priority. Everyone would go home but your partner is all you have; so don’t lose each other while planning your big day.
Don’t forget to speak into existence what you want for your marriage, confess positive things and close your ears to all negativity. Somehow everybody has the best advice for you when you are getting married, but you need to be sensitive and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.
To everyone preparing for their big day, it’s going to be a glorious day.
ALSO READ: LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL
Singles asking when, God is here already, He is writing the script in trusting Him, I look forward to sharing your love story.
Your friend and sister,