I was in my room trying to see what’s happening in the internet world then my favourite network provider decides to mess things up for me with a very slow network, it’s not a new scenario it happens most of the time with them but this particular evening just drove me nuts and I had to ask myself “why am I still using this network?” then I had to do a rethinking and I discovered why.

I hope you are not in a hurry because I am about to tell you my love story with my favourite network provider. Hop on and ride with me, there are some basic lessons we could learn from this story

I started using the network in 2015 when I got my first writing gig, my boss shared data with me, since it was free I became so used to it, somewhere along the line I bought a new phone purchased from their office and the phone came with a one year data bundle so for a year I didn’t spend a dime subscribing. After a year I was back to being normal and I started subscribing with my own money, it was cheaper so it was fun but here was the thing even though it was cheaper the network was terrible there were days I had to struggle to get the network to do meaningful things online. I had asked myself “why am I still in this relationship with this network” the reason is simple, it is cheaper and beyond that I’m just so used to it that I feel another network will be strange.


Just like my story with this network, there are lot of people in abusive relationship but they are so scared to leave the relationship maybe because they are already used to the abuse or in other cases they have some peanuts they are getting from the relationship.

I don’t care about the amount of money he gives you, nothing can replace the place of happiness, stop wasting your energy on relationships that can never grow. Many of us see the signs but we just ignore thinking we can make it work, you are not married and you are already enduring a relationship. Stop using all your energy on a relationship that can never grow, I know you are in love but love is not the only factor that makes a marriage work.
You know within you that you should not be in that relationship but you will rather force yourself to make it work and that is the only reason you are still hurt, stop spending your youthful days chasing meaningless relationships.

You know what they say about the fact that there are two sets of people that are so difficult to talk to and that is a man who has money and a woman who is in love, don’t make this statement a fact. The fact that you are in love should not mean the loss of your senses. Don’t make decisions you will spend the rest of your life regretting.
You don’t have to stay with her out of pity, you don’t even love her but you feel that without you she can’t move on, who told you that? She will definitely find a man that will love her but that is if you release her. How do you expect her to find a man when you keep hovering around her like a hen protecting her chick from danger but in this case you are not protecting her, you can’t be with her so why hold on to her for so long.
Abusive relationships is actually a cage, each time you are hurt, your partner apologizes and the cycle continues again but I write this to give you a reminder that enough is enough, I know you are tired and you have been asking for a sign, let this be a sign. I know you are in love but sometimes love means letting go. Marriage is the appropriate time to love blindly but courtship is the time to love intelligently. Ask those who are going through troubles in their marriage they will tell you it’s never an easy ride and many of them wish they had not made the decision of marrying who they married. Avoid that terrible decision when you can, I know you are in love but your happiness is also important and the interesting part is that love will always find you.


I have met people who are enduring relationships not because of an abuse but because their visions are not in any way related. One of the reasons you are coming together is to fulfil purpose, just because he is cute or she is pretty has not made them your partner. Life will be so boring if your partner does not believe in your vision that is the point of agreement.
I once had a friend I liked so much, a part of me really wished he would ask me out but it was later I got to discover that we had no agreement. I made up my mind about him one evening when we got talking and I asked him about his plans for the future and I realized there was no way I could fit into any of those dreams even if I had tried to I will lose my own purpose and uniqueness in the process.

Partnership is one of the major goals of marriage, you and your partner should be going to the same path, and you should have a common goal. If you lose your originality trying to please your partner you won’t like the result, you will become a frustrated and boring person. Find someone who is going in the same direction with you.

Don’t force yourself to go on a journey God never sent you, you will regret it. Fulfilling purpose is expedient to your happiness, don’t be blind about your life. I know you love him and she loves you but don’t drag somebody else into an assignment they are not called to do. Sometimes it’s okay to let go, marriage is too far to jump into it.


I’ve learnt a major lesson in life that letting go could be tough but it births freedom and inner peace, don’t let love be the only reason you are dating anyone. Let your purposes align, don’t endure an abusive relationship, don’t spend the rest of your life regretting. Don’t kill yourself over a toxic relationship, God didn’t create you to suffer and endure life because of somebody who does not value you. I know it’s hard but take it from a friend who understands that sometimes you just have to let go so that you can walk into the life God has assigned you to live.

Cheers to a beautiful future.

Omodara Onome


  1. Okay… So apparently the first part of this blog got to me, when you talked about network. I am currently facing such abuse. I agree with what you have said and I believe it shouldn’t just be about love cause love is not blind. Thanks for making my day?

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