“The lord says “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you” (psalm 32:8) NLT.

The year was 2015, Tola met David in a seminar and they bonded so well, they became so close that Tola was looking forward to when David would tell her exactly how he felt, everyone felt they were a strong duo. The day Tola dreamt of came to pass when David called and said they should meet as he had something to tell her but she was shocked when uncle said “The lord is not saying about us”, she managed to gather herself and went home heartbroken.

This is just one of such stories I’ve heard, seen and even experienced  and at the same time I’ve also seen and experienced different guys telling a particular lady the lord told them she is their wife and I wonder is God really speaking to them?

As a relationship coach, one major cause of confusion for people has been “what is the will of God about who I should marry”. I’ve met several people who have been so confused about this particular issue and one major bone of contention has been “love versus the Lord says”. A lady sent me a message last year asking me if the lord could lead someone to a person you don’t love. 

What exactly is the will of God?

The lord has promised to guide and instruct us, his will is that we have a good marriage but at the same time God has given every individual the power of choice. All through the bible there are just three instances where it SEEMS as if God chose a partner for them.

1. Adam and Eve (Gen 2: 18-23): when God saw that Adam was alone and there was no helper suitable for him, he created Eve, when Adam saw Eve he immediately named her just like he named other creatures and she became who Adam called her to be. Adam had a choice but he chose Eve.

2. Isaac and Rebecca (Gen 24:1-67): Abraham called for his trusted servant and sent him to find a wife for his son Isaac in his own country, the servant went and prayed to the God of his master he specifically told God what he wanted, a woman who was respectful, kind, loyal and caring which God granted and even after that Rebecca was still asked if she would go with the servant which she agreed to.

3. Hosea and Gomer (Hosea 1: 2-5): Hosea was instructed by God to love and marry a harlot to show how God felt and loved his nation Israel even after they deserted him for other gods.

Asides these three there is no other instance in the bible where God chose, he only directed them to each other (Ruth and Boaz), God will never FORCE you to marry anyone.

It’s funny when the only time some people decide to listen to God is when they want to marry, when they have not even mastered the art of listening to God, how do you expect to hear correctly? 

Truthfully, Love is not the only factor to make a good home but at the same you can’t underestimate its presence. If you don’t love the person who claims God revealed you to him/ her please don’t go ahead. I’ve heard people say love grows which is very true but please let that love grow before you say I do. Don’t marry anyone because the lord says alone, make sure you also say. I repeat don’t marry anyone you won’t be happy being with; you will end up frustrating yourself and your partner.

How do I choose?

 “Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37: 4) NKJV

Choose with God:

Let God be in your decision, make him the authentic match maker, make sure you check in your spirit with the lord after finding (Proverbs 18:22). Get your own word from God, I’m not against going to your pastor for prayer but whoever you choose to marry is 100% your decision; you are the one to live with the person. 

Stop managing relationships in the name of the “The lord said” God never wants you to live a frustrated life, stop living in bondage and fear (2Timothy 1:7). The Lord loves you and He knows the end from the beginning so choose with God, get a word from God before you move ahead.

NB: God’s plan is that you marry in the kingdom, God won’t direct you to an unbeliever, marry in your father’s kingdom (2 Corinthians 6: 14).


“Can two walk together unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3) NKJV.

Even if the revelation you got lasted for 10 hours, you still have your own part to play to make the relationship work. A good relationship is work, the supernatural will not last and you will make God a liar if you are not committed to making the relationship work, it takes two committed people who effectively communicate to have a great and lasting relationship.

Pardon me if I’ve not been able to answer your burning questions through this particular post, there is a lot to say but time and space would not permit me. If you are confused or you need a friend to talk to and if you want to speak with a counselor, I’m just a message away from you send me a message on and I will definitely get back to you.

May you never endure your marriage (Amen).

Your friend and sister,

Omodara Onome


  1. God bless you my darling.
    Good points for those in the waiting school. And a very important prayer point you ended with ‘May you never endure your marriage’ ?Marriage is really to be enjoyed.
    More Divine insight in Jesus name.
    Love you girl ?.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *